Welcome friends
I know relationships can be a touchy subject—especially when it comes to reconciliation
since we all have different thoughts and ideas
I’m not here to push my own opinion, just to share what God’s Word says
and what has helped me find peace and hope in my walk with the Lord
From there, we can each take time to reflect, pray, and decide for ourselves
Here are some common phrases people say during or about conflicts,
often to minimize, deflect, or try to smooth things over
Minimize or avoid Conflict
“Just give them time, they will eventually come around”
“Give it time, it will blow over”
“You just need to learn to just let it go”
“They’re just going through something.”
“Things will go back to normal”
Dismissive or Defensive
“I said I was sorry, what more do you want?”
“You always do this.”
“That’s just how I am.”
“Let’s not go there.”
Blame Shifting and Justifying
“If you hadn’t brought it up, everything would be fine.”
“If you hadn’t done that, I wouldn’t have reacted that way.”
“Well, if you had just listened to me…”
“This is all your fault.”
Blame shifting avoids accountability
Justifying avoids genuine repentance
Both are roadblocks to reconciliation and healing in relationships.
I may not have a counseling degree, but God is teaching me through His Word
filling my heart and mind with wisdom that’s healing me from the inside out
I was going through a difficult season and I desperately needed God
I needed time in silence and solitude, I needed time in Him word,
I needed time in prayer to shed tears,
I needed time to examine and sort out my life and my walk with the Lord
When situations get harder, God calls His people to go deeper—and that’s exactly what I did.
Even if it meant telling others, “I just can’t have a relationship right now.”
God needed one on one time with me without any outside distractions
So many of us are walking through family struggles
and sometimes the most powerful help comes from the heart of a person
that has been in that situation and have found hope through God
Let’s open God’s Word and see how the family struggles we experience today mirror the challenges
families faced in the Bible and how God worked through them
Some people might know the bible story of Jacob and Esau-twin brothers
Jacob and his mother deceived and manipulated Esau out of his blessing from his father.
his rightful inheritance of being the first born
Jacob ran away from home for 20 yrs as his brother wanted to kill him
He went live with his mom’s brother who deceived and manipulated him
Basically running from one bad situation into a worst situation
During those 20 years, God had been shaping Jacob’s heart.
When the time was right, God told him to return home
Genesis 31:3-“Then the Lord said to Jacob, ‘Go back to the land of your fathers and to your relatives, and I will be with you.'”
This reminds us how important it is to wait on God’s timing
Sometimes, He’s still working behind the scenes—softening hearts, preparing the way.
If we rush back into a relationship too soon, before God opens the door
we might miss the very blessing He’s been preparing for us
Jacob was afraid to go back home to face his brother as his last words were a vow
kill him but Jacob chose faith in the Lord over fear. He chose obedience over fear.
He don’t know what was going to happen so he prayed
Genesis 32:9–12 – Jacob’s heartfelt prayer to God
a powerful reminder that prayer prepares our hearts for restoration
Like many divided relationships, we don’t always know what God is doing in the hearts of others
have they changed or are they still holding on to bitterness?
That’s why, in the waiting, we pray not only for our own hearts but also for God to prepare theirs.
Only He can bring true healing and make a healthy relationship possible
The worldly expression “time heals all wounds’ is a lie
time + wisdom +obedience + change is the formula towards
a healthy reconciliation
There comes a time when, like Jacob, we have to stop running.
After 20 years of avoiding conflict and pain, Jacob finally turned back to face Esau
It wasn’t just about-facing Esau, it was about facing his past, his guilt, and his fear
Somewhere along the way, Jacob looked up and realized that God had been in it all along
and only God could lead him through it.
At some point, Christians also need to look up and see that there is a God over our difficult situation and He can help lead us through it
All Jacob’s decisions for 20 year were running from danger instead of running towards God’s will
Hurting and running won’t get us to a better place
God tells Jacob to quit running and it’s time to go home and face your problems
Esau, though not a believer in the Lord, showed unexpected grace to his brother.
Jacob, a believer, he isn’t perfect but he is making progress, growing in his faith.
He came in humility. By bowing before Esau, Jacob showed he wasn’t there to fight.
He took responsibility for his actions and asked for forgiveness, owning his part in what had happened
But not every story ends with reconciliation
Laban, the father of Jacob’s wives and grandfather to their children, refused to change
Despite the opportunity for reconciliation, his heart remained hardened
Some family members simply choose not to grow.
As a result, Laban never saw his daughters or grandchildren again
Sometimes peace means setting a boundary—even when reconciliation isn’t possible
as seen between Jacon and Laban in Genesis 31:52
“This heap is a witness, and this pillar is a witness, that I will not go past this heap to your side to harm you
and that you will not go past this heap and pillar to my side to harm me.”
What I have learned these past 2 yrs
Don’t waste this time apart….. use it to grow and mature
Don’t run away from it…. but find God’s will though it
Seasons of distance can become seasons of transformation when we surrender them to Him
God is preparing you for the new season of blessings
Repentance means a transformed heart, a changed life, and a sincere effort to make things right
The turning point was not just Time—but Transformation
God used those years apart to grow and mature both brothers
Neither had the maturity for reconciliation, so God allowed space for them to grow separately
Sometimes God has to separate us from the people we love so He can work in both hearts,
The key to their reconciliation has always been communication
but true communication takes maturity, humility, and faith
And when the time was right, Jacob didn’t just return home—he returned home Changed
And that’s what opened the door for blessing and the next season in both of their lives
The stories of the Bible are there for a reason
Stories about real people, real life, real marriages, real families, real pain,
real trauma, real hardship, real struggles, real confusion
To get the most out of the stories, we have to step into the stories
and to see ourselves in the characters
God gave us these stories to wake us up and to lead us out of places
where we have been stuck and into a better life that He has for us
The world often says, “Life is too short to stay mad—just forgive and move on.”
We’re encouraged to sweep things under the rug, ignore the pain, and act like everything’s fine.
But for me, it goes deeper than that. Healing isn’t about pretending—it’s about being honest
Romans 14:12 “So then, each of us will give an account of ourselves to God.”
God is my first priority
I want my wisdom and understanding to come straight from His Word
not from the shifting opinions of the world.
I’ve learned that a changed heart leads to healthy relationships, while an unchanged heart keeps relationships broken and strained.
Real healing begins when we let God transform us from the inside out
The book of Genesis is a powerful place to start
It’s not just a history book—it’s a guide to family structure and relationships
I’d love to recommend a resource that helped me
👉 The Trinity Church
Once you’re on the website, click on “Sermons” and type “Genesis #1” into the search bar
There’s a 32-part sermon series that walks through the entire book of Genesis
full of insight into family, faith, and God’s plan for your life.
Let me know what you think—you won’t be disappointed!
I invite you to join me on this journey
Let’s allow God to transform our hearts.
True change starts from within, and when He changes us, we can better impact the world around
https://echosofmyfootsteps.com/
