Welcome Friends
Thank You for joining me today on this journey of learning and spiritual growth.
Let’s grow together as we transform ourselves so we can change the situation/world around us.
Let us be the first to stand up and say- I need to change
Within the body of Christ, in the community of Christ, there is going to arise friction from time to time,
against one another.
Jesus has giving us some very practical tips to follow when we find ourselves in conflict with other fellow believers.
If we only did what Jesus is commanding, we would all have a much healthier relationship with others.
I have been a believer in the Lord all my life and I am the first to confess, this is an area of my life that I fall short of. It just seems as if no one wants to face issues head on as it’s much easier to avoid them and move on as if nothing has happened. Why?
The more I desire to lead a God-led life, the more obedient I want to follow His word,
The Matthew 18 procedure requires a willingness to confront and face uncomfortable situations.
It requires us to rise above our pride, ego, fear, guilt, shame- whatever it may be that holds us back,
With the correct approach, a sincere heart and a humbled attitude, I encourage us to take that first step
and let’s truly come together with empathy and really listen to each other and share the burdens within our hearts and receive them with compassion.
Matthew 18:15-Jesus states-“If your brother has sinned against you, go and tell them their fault just between the two of you
It’s important to define who is considered a brother.
Matthew 12:50 states, “For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother, and sister, and mother.”
Believers in Christ are referred to as brothers and sisters, indicating that Jesus is referring to the community of believers, the body of Christ.
This verse does not instruct us to harbor bitterness towards others or complain and tell everyone and spread gossip or seek retaliation, which sadly, seems to be our default setting more often than not.
Jesus tells us to approach the person who has caused the offense or hurt us, to speak to them directly.
When you approach them, it isn’t to vent to them, point the finger at them or hurt them. It is not about winning the argument but it’s to win the brother or sister, to bring restoration and reconciliation.
The end goal is-
“If they listen to you, you have won them over.”
then restoration and reconciliation has been achieved.
If a fellow believer in the body of Christ has reached out to you, it is because they have been deeply affected by something.
Let’s try to avoid dismissive responses like “You’re just too sensitive,” “You’re making a big deal out of nothing,” or “That is just your opinion,”
If the fellow believer is obstinate or just does not care what you say,
then we are bound by scripture to take step #2
Matthew 18:16:
“But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.'”
These witnesses should ideally be respected members in the community.
These are not friends who you seek out only to agree and side with you.
The purpose of bringing witnesses is to get all the facts and ensure fairness.
Both sides need to be heard and that is the job of the two or more witnesses.
They can help mediate, help resolve the conflict and to help verify that a genuine attempt
of reconciliation was made.
Proverbs 18:17 “The first to present his case seems right, till another comes forward and questions him.”
Matthew 18:17
“If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.”
step 3-
we tell it to the church leaders or someone that represents the church for the purpose of restoring the
brother or sister.
If that person continues to disregard/ignore their offense or hurt they have caused you,
and until they can recognize your pain with empathy, you should treat that individual as you would a pagan or tax collector.
you treat them as an unbeliever as that is how they chose to act.
This does not mean to shun them and treat them badly
It means that we love them just as Jesus loved the pagans and tax collectors.
It means that we pray for them,
It means that we still believe that they are a genuine follower of Christ
with hopes that one day they will repent.
2 Corinthians 6:14-15
This principle is:
Christians should have their closest relationships with those who share their commitment to Christ, as differing core values and beliefs can lead to conflicts and spiritual compromise.
God grants approval for distancing oneself- from a person- who upon confrontation-
fails to acknowledge their hurtful or offensive behavior and attempts to dismiss it,
shifting them from a close relationship to one that is more distant relationship is acceptable
Some believers say that the Matthew 18 procedure only applies to conflict within the
leadership of the church,
Some believers say that the Mattew 18 procedure is for all the believers to help resolve conflict
Though my study of the Old Testament, the stories and the lessons that it holds,
unresolved conflict, that is not dealt with properly, only leaves a foothold in the door for satan to reappear to cause more hurt and damage.
I encourage you to read my bible lesson below on Dousing the Flame and
see where your heart leads you about confronting conflict or keep walking around acting as if our problem is fine.
**Spoiler alert:
Two brothers die, leaving their sister to endure a life of isolation and sorrow. The unresolved conflicts within David’s family only lead to more strife and violence.
David’s final words on his deathbed were about the importance of obeying God’s commandments.
I encourage us all to take a look back at your own lives where there were relationship issues and
consider how it was resolved/unresolved and the outcome.
Lord, I pray for hearts filled with kindness, compassion, and understanding.
A heart that is quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.
Lord, teach us to listen with an open heart, to truly understand the thoughts and feelings
of those around us with empathy.
Help us Lord to recognize that, our willing to look at Your word and say, “this is a tough one”
but this is what you command of us so we can have healthier relationships.
My obedience is to you Lord, not the world around me.
Thank You for your patience with us and we all learn and grow
In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen
