Welcome Friends
I am grateful for each one of you. Let’s grow together as we deepen our walk with the Lord.
I look forward to sharing this wonderful journey with you.
In my renewed walk with the Lord, growing and maturing closer to Him, one of the hardest and most difficult challenges for me is to stop pointing my finger at the other person, better known as Blame Shifting
Some of the most common saying in relationship disputes are:
“You did wrong, not me.”
” You did this and this caused me to do that “
” It’s all your fault.”
“if you weren’t so unreasonable, this would have never happened.”
“If you weren’t so sensitive, this would have never happened.”
“I wouldn’t have reacted that way if you wouldn’t of say that.”
My most favorite saying is “You’re the problem, not me, it’s all your fault”
When we look at this saying though the eyes of the Lord, this phrase might be seen as
A Lack of Self-Reflection
Without regular self-examination, people may be unaware of their own contributions to the conflict. Jesus highlighted this in Matthew 7:3-5- He spoke about noticing the speck in your brother’s eye while ignoring the plank in your own. |
“We have the eyes of an eagle to notice others’ faults, but are blind as moles to our own.”
Being quick to see others’ mistakes while being oblivious to our own shortcomings.
For this interactive study, we are going to focus on self-examination.
I enjoy joking around with my husband, especially when we blame each other for something.
Just the other morning at 6:30 am, I was jolted awake from a deep sleep by a scraping noise in the kitchen—like fingernails on a chalkboard. When I came into the kitchen, I told him he woke me up.
He replied that it was my fault because I left the bread slicer on the counter and he had to move it forward to slice the fresh bread… screeeeeek. I told him that it was Kneaders’ fault for not slicing the bread for me.
Then Kneaders can say that it is my fault for not selection “sliced” on the app when I order it, the person who created the app-it showed sliced but I didn’t realize I had to click on it for the dropdown menu then check “sliced” so I blame the app for being confusing.
Your fault, my fault, Kneaders’ fault, the software’s fault—there’s always someone to shift the blame too.
The scenario between me and my husband was all in good fun
Let’s look at same scenarios though what I like to call…let’s put on our “God Glasses”
Viewing this situation from God’s perspective.
Instead of blame shifting, let’s aligns our actions with God’s teachings and help us grow spiritually.
My husband could have apologized for the noise and waking me up.
I could acknowledge that leaving the bread slicer out was my mistake and that taking a moment to put it away could have prevented the noise that woke me up.
Blame Shifting is a common behavior in us all. Let’s look at the story of Adam and Eve
Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit, Adam blamed Eve for giving him the fruit, and indirectly blames God by saying ” you put the women here with me.” Eve then shifts the blame to the serpent for deceiving her.
Instead of blame shifting,
Adam could have taken responsibility for his actions:
“I made the choice to eat the apple. I should have resisted the temptation and obeyed God’s command.”
Instead of blaming the serpent, Eve could have taken responsibility by saying:
“I made the decision to eat the fruit despite knowing that we were instructed not to. I should have trusted God’s guidance and not let myself be tempted.”
Let’s take a few moments to reflect on a time you have shifted blame instead of taking responsibility in the chain reactions of events that stirred up an argument and how you could have handled it differently
Blame-shifting might feel like an easy escape, but it’s actually a sin because it avoids personal responsibility, distancing us from God’s truth and grace.
By putting on our “God glasses” and seeing our circumstances through the lens of Scripture, we can align our actions with His teachings and handle blame wisely,
As we draw closer to the Lord and recognize that blame-shifting goes against His teachings, we may encounter another challenge:
being the only one willing to set aside pride and admit that our actions played a part in the conflict.
It’s tough to engage with others who continue to point fingers and not want to acknowledge their own actions, and it’s tempting to fall back into the habit of blaming them in return.
So, how do we handle these situations?
We must remember that we are only responsible for ourselves and our own actions, not anyone else’s.
Spend time in God’s Word daily, grow in Him, and focus on transforming yourself.
Trust in God to work in the hearts of others.
Romans 12:2 says-“Do not conform to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
Today marks a new day, an opportunity to renew our minds and begin anew.
Join me in making a commitment today:
I will not blame others, and I will not point fingers.
Let’s avoid the pitfalls of the blame game by reflecting on the story of Adam and Eve and their first sin after eating the forbidden fruit—the sin of blaming one another and not taking responsibility in our own actions.
Thank you for taking the time to read this and I hope it encourages you to open your heart to the wisdom and love that God offers.
Let’s change the world together by changing ourselves first
Prayers- Interactive Lesson #1
